Self Discovery & reflections of my childhood days- part 1 (1979-1988)

 Self- Discovery & Reflections of my Childhood Days- part 1(1979-1988)

The memory of my childhood days with my dearest mother, father, brothers and sisters  at village were very vague and blurred when I tried to reflect it at this juncture of my life. The worldly activities never provided me such reflective mood to trace back my childhood life in such simple rural life that I never get chance to experience now. My half of life is already exhausted when I look back today on 13th February 2014 in Bangkok pursuing my master degree. I am 35 years old now already and I am still wandering what did I achieve in my life as human being? Will I leave behind some traces of history or may be a distant story that can be forgotten after few days by my family members and friends. I have played my role in this mundane stage for 35 years but without having any significant impacts to society and sentient beings.

The life that I recollect as a small boy in the village known as Khoyar, Gomdar under Samdrup Jongkhar was like dream world that ended very fast and swiftly. Being, born as last child to my dearest mother, namely Sinki and late beloved father Kinzang in the year 1979. The love and care given by poor parents were beyond my expression and emotionally heartbreaking one. The life as poor man's son in the village was very hard and tough to survive. I have five elder sisters and two brothers. The family was huge in number and difficult to meet the ends even my parents toiled hard to earn the living from farming our lands. Living has to be made by any means and the fire and pot has to keep on boiling somehow in my dingy house. 

I as a boy had to accompany my elder brothers and nephews to look after our cows in the deep jungles daily. The herd of cows will be released around 11 AM. in morning to graze freely in the nearby forest. The life as a cow boy was really charming and fun going. We used to play flute musics in the jungles and watch the birds and wild animals. As a boy left unguided and wild did the job of bad and good. I even used to hunt for crabs and lobsters in the rivers with my brothers for evening meals. I still remember that I also killed many hens, cocks, and pigs with my brothers and nephews for occasions of joys to feast on during Losar and blessed rainy day.  Such was my life as a boy in the rural setting passed on like a dreams.   I was never advised by anyone it is sinful to do so but encouraged to kill more. It shows that my village people were not that pious and ever educated on the law of Karma, cause and effect of our actions. But very much ignorant, blind and love to kill and eat for survival as poor family.Unheard of Dharma and rarely visited by the great masters.  The main fun and game we used to have in the village was playing archery, Khuru and Deogor with friends which I miss now badly and will never come back such occasions. 

My faint memories of childhood is very short lived and blurred. It is sadly lost and gone from my brain and mind. Nevertheless, my life as childhood with my parents lasted for eight years before I was admitted to Pre-Primary school by my only Educated brother Tandin Wangdi who got appointed as Section Officer(SO) in Mongar District after graduating from Dewathang Polytechnic Institute. I was admitted to the school at the age of nine. And My life as Childhood chapter was closed from the day I was admitted school to become another educated family  members. The burden of learning and fear of teachers made me feel that I have lost my wild life as a cow boy and chained with duties of study. May my memory reflect much better and clearer when I drag on with my self-reflections for the next stage of my life.

 written by: Mindu Wangdi