It was really wonderful to open my heart and listen carefully to his (Thai brother's) story for long hours in his room seeping a cup of tea and munching some fruits offered on the bamboo made table. He would throw out his sad moments and troubled times and ask for any solutions to adopt immediately in the future and the conversation continued for many nights under the dim light and soft Thai music played on his radio. Being senior people, suggesting some solution is quite sensitive and re-bouncing for their want to remain in their "caged thought". The resistant to change is sensed but I could melt his heart with my diplomatic way of advice based on Buddhist principles which loves to embrace it.
He would complain to me that his friends never listen to his problems but ignored him and once he bang the table during the dinner which hurt his friends emotionally and their strong bonds nearly got shattered with that incident. I can see his frustration and stress in his face, as he comes to my room with beer and guitar to release his tension. I offered him chair and we continued talking on his failed and troubled days. His future worries are like, maintaining of his house which is getting natural decay, financial re-bounce, family stress, client handling and many future plans that he listed. So he would ask me "Mindu" how do you deal with it?
He cornered me with such big issues that is beyond my advice and suggestions indeed. Nevertheless, I offered him some options to handle with those problems by selling away the house before it is gone completely that he cannot think of it yet. Otherwise, rent out to some people nearby for minimum amount of rent. The problem is that he never trust anyone to stay in his house and maintain it annually. There is big doubt in his mind looming around that people will destroy his house if allowed. His house is now being haunted by Thai Ghosts and demons since the owner is far away in the city. This makes him go crazy as he spent huge amount of money to purchase. I told him the story of Naga (serpent) with nine heads with nine jewels on it and have to guard it from the enemies. How worrisome and difficult time that Naga is having under the ocean safeguarding the jewels. In the similar manner, your life is also pressured with worries of house, money, family,car. girl friend, boy friends and neighbors.
The best solution that I suggested him is to reduce your desire of wanting to possess and live contented life with what you have. Don't plan too much; you get frustrated when your plan fails. Don't visualize future too much, it is uncertain to reach that goal and it would again bring unhappiness to your mind. In Buddhist way of living is to live at present moment. No point of regressing the past and forecasting future as both would bring unhappy results. These suggestions have huge impact on his mind whereby I can see smile in his face and laughter coming naturally. He is now re-united with his friends with dinner and chats.
And finally, he showed me his secret note book where he writes all his sadness, worries and complaints. Since, he wants to blow out his tension by writing everything in his thin note book which quite amazing and typical character that I could see this man. He said, this is my twin soul ("notebook"). How difficult time did he face when no one listened to his personal problems. It was me who could open his mind and heart by listening carefully with compassion and love for narrator with nodding my head and interrupting few moments for clarifications. This is power of good listening and we could change and influence someone to live happy life and save from future dangers of killing oneself when people find one solutions in their life. We need not get training of Psychiatrist to heal someone but we should learn and listen to their problems well and let them open their hearts and minds for the change. Show them the new paths to walk in life and you will feel satisfaction at heart for serving them without involving any financial support.
Currently, people need love and compassion from others not the money and powerful words of science to heal them from mental stress and torture from their job and surrounding. This is how I help sentient beings in little way to live simple and happy life rather than buried under tension and die with worries on their head.
Mindu Wangdi
No comments:
Post a Comment